5 things to do during lockdown that are sexy and free
Bombarded as we are by dire news, it is easy to forget the sensual side of life. Here are 5 sexy things to do during lockdown with your partner
Like everyone else, Aliki and I have been struggling with sexy things to do during lockdown. We find ourselves stretched to keep up with heaps of homework, producing tons of food three times a day and doing house chores that we didn’t even know existed -or, at least, I didn’t! By the time it is evening and the kids are in bed, we feel like Atlas the moment Hercules took over his load. Only instead of sauntering away to pick apples, we simply collapse in front of a TV.
That’s ok for a day or two. But, in the long run, it is a relationship killer.
The COVID-19 situation is serious, but that doesn’t mean that we should give up entirely on the important things in life, including sexual pleasure. Our relationship depends on it. Life as we know it depends on it! So, we have decided to come up with a list of free and sexy things to do during lockdown, so as to make sure that our sexual relationship stays intact during the COVID-19.
5 free and sexy things to do during lockdown with your partner:
1. Read to each other, naked
“How can reading ever be sexy?” I hear you ask. If you choose the latest treatise comparing the Western and the Japanese honey bees, then perhaps you should skip quickly to the next point. Your partner risks breaking quarantine and leaving home. If, however, you are less particular in your tastes, there is plenty to choose from.
What is sexy varies from one person to another. Some might opt for a honey-dripping classic like Gone with the Wind, others for something more nuanced like Love in the Time of Cholera, while others still would go for outright Erotica or adult-themed magazines, like our favourite ASN. I would personally opt for Greek mythology classics. No shortage of love and lust there: Perseus and Andromeda, Eros and Psyche, Ares and Aphrodite and, of course, Helen and Paris. These myths abound with earthy nakedness.
Imagine lighting up your bedroom with a few candles and sitting nude in bed with your partner laying with her head across your lap. You are reading to her and your voice is the only focal point as you take her with you on a journey. As you read your free hand gently skims her body, almost absentmindedly. Tension builds up as you two get lost in the story.
If everything goes as planned, you will not be able to get to chapter two.
There are plenty of lubricants to try out during the coronavirus lockdown
2. Give each other a massage, naked
This is the moment to spend as much time in bed as possible. Just spend it well. And giving a massage to your partner is always time well spent. I know, you have gone over that body a hundred times. You know it better than the palm of your hands. You know what to touch and what to avoid, how much to press and exactly when to do it. There is beauty in that. It is a treasure hoarded over the many years you have spent together. And, like all treasures, if you bury it, it loses its value.
Trust me, there is scope for discovery even when you stroke the person you know so well. Our bodies change with time. Regular touching keeps you intimately acquainted with each other’s bodies and binds you more together. And try to give a proper massage before passing on to sex. Don’t jump into it immediately. If you’re feeling bold, you can even skip coitus completely and let desire simmer, so as to reach even higher peaks later.
It is also a moment to experiment. There are plenty of oils to choose from, including sensual massage oils, massage candles, which let you drip the melting wax on your partner (careful it can burn!) or neutral gels, such as Aloe Vera, that keep the focus on the touch rather than the aroma. You can even make a game out of it, trying out different types of lubricant.
And do not be limited to your hands as the conduit of sensual pleasure. Try using your elbows, your lips and your whole body.
3. Try out new sex toys
A few nights ago, Aliki and I unwrapped our new Zumio and gave it a try. It worked brilliantly for both of us, and Aliki will tell you more about that in a dedicated review.
The point is that staying at home for long periods can be a slippery slope to humdrum and routine, the two Knights of the Apocalypse of long-term relationships. Sex toys can be an antidote, and they’re fun! And don’t be too to categorical about ‘toys for him’ and ‘toys for her’. Aren’t you curious to find out how her vibrator feels on you?
Aliki and I have whole boxes full of sex toys, some of which we have used only sporadically. I’ve decided I will use this time to sift through them; and by that, I don’t mean in a spring-cleaning mode.
It would be interesting to see if we still have the same tastes as some years back and whether we have evolved in the way we use and perceive sex toys. Ultimately, like any social games, using sex toys is a way of interacting on a different level.
Using sex toys also gives us an opening to talk and update each other on our sexual desires. Talking to each other about sex can be a taboo for some couples. For libertine couples, however, there is a risk that sex-talk becomes so commonplace that it loses its value. We run the risk of taking it for granted.
4. Establish a date night, at home
Some time ago, Aliki and I decided to establish a mid-week, stay-in date night. Unlike the occasional weekends when we get a babysitter and go out to a restaurant or a club, our date night is at home and we cook together.
We alternate in choosing the menu and prepare the ingredients in advance. One week it is Aliki who is the chef, and one week it’s me who chooses. We dress up for the occasion, eat by candlelight and experiment with some background music. My last experiment was Greek folkloric music, which failed to leave the desired effect on Aliki’s libido! Despite that little hiccup, date-night has been a success and it has become a regular Wednesday appointment for us. And it has become one of our favourite things to do during the COVID-19 lockdown.
The whole point behind it is to prim-up for each other. We normally deck-out in our best clothes when we are meeting friends. But when we’re at home, just the two of us, it takes an effort not to stay in our pyjamas and warm up a pot of noodles. At the end of the day, I want to look my best, not the opposite, in front of my partner.
Think of it this way. If you were going out to meet the love of your life, would you turn up in pyjamas?
5. Do a “pretty-woman” at home
One of the memorable scenes in Pretty Woman is when Julia Roberts goes shopping, courtesy of Richard Gere’s credit card. Now, before you faint, we are not proposing that. Under lockdown, it isn’t possible either, unless you order online- which frankly is less fun.
No, what I am talking about is going through your wardrobe and then doing the catwalk in front of your partner, letting her tell you what she likes and what she likes less. And yes, guys, when she gives you that forced smile and mumbles “it is kind of ok”, she is just being nice. It means “throw it away, now!’
Aliki and I have done this a couple of times for our whole wardrobe and laborious as it might sound, it has two distinct advantages: it makes spring cleaning so much more fun and it is a way to get to know each other even better. We are intimate with each other’s general tastes, but the truth is that those tastes evolve. Doing a ‘pretty-woman’ allowed us to catch up on our respective sartorial preferences. Now I know a bit better what Aliki likes on me. I have also been obliged to grudgingly part with a few things, but, hey, everything comes at a cost, right?
And making sure that your sexual space thrives even during lockdown with your partner is definitely worth paying for.
These are difficult times. But let’s fight the doom and gloom of our continuous stay at home. We can turn the COVID-19 lockdown into an opportunity to work on our sexual relationship. That is part of staying healthy; filling your body with much-needed hormones, such as endorphins and oxytocin. Keep looking at yourself as a sexual being and at your partner as your object of desire. And whatever you choose to do, stay home, stay healthy and make sure that you follow the coronavirus lockdown instructions of your health authorities.
What are you doing to spice up your sex life during the coronavirus lockdown?