What’s the first thing you want to make sure of when your partner is away for a long stretch? When you have to spend a significant amount of days and nights without each other and without sex?
And, let’s suppose that most of us are not cool enough as to accept our partner having sex with another man/ woman in our absence. Although I’ve met some people recently who are that cool. Last time we were at a sex party, one of the guests was there with a friend of his girlfriend. Without his girlfriend. With the blessings of his girlfriend. I am not that cool. But I am deviating.
As far as I am concerned, every time Xander and I spend a week or more apart, I have a disturbing, uneasy feeling until I get to hear he has a good internet connection. And private sleeping quarters, without interruptions from friends or family in the room. Because if these two conditions are met, I know that at least we’ll get a chance to have some cybersex during his absence.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I cannot survive a week or two without sex. It’s not sex I miss mostly when my partner is not around. I miss everything about him: our daily routine together, the time we devote to each other, his smile, his touch and his very presence in my life. At the same time, sex time is time just for us. We cherish it and I know Xander and I can never have too much of it. So, no, in case you were wondering, I am not a superficial hedonist or a slave of my carnal impulses. I am just investing in our relationship.
Usually the first couple of evenings spent apart pass by rather quickly, both of us being busy with whatever activity we set out to do. We speak on the phone and text continuously, but sexual tension takes some days to build up. And then, at some point, one of the two of us mentions it. I want you… will you find some time alone tonight?
Our first time
The first time Xander hinted at cybersex, I had a moment’s hesitation. Is it reasonable to expose yourself like that? Online? Τhen again, at the same time, millions of men, women, cam girls and what not are having sex fun online. Who cares if two lovers missing each other seek some excitement and warmth in the web of the Internet? But it required preparation. I tried every corner of the house to check where the signal was stronger. The one thing I was not willing to risk was an interruption at a critical moment. I decided on the stairs and placed my phone strategically, on a higher step, at the level of my breasts. After that, everything flowed rather naturally.
Masturbating in front of a camera, while Xander watches me on screen, doing the same on his side, makes me feel sexy, in a bad-ass, kinky way. At least once I manage to place the laptop/ phone/ tablet in a half-decent way. I know Xander likes giving me orders, telling me when and how to undress, how to turn my body and what to show him on the screen. It turns me on.
Cybersex is a poor replacement to actual physical closeness and warmth, but it still gives us a much-needed layer of sexiness and intimacy when we’re apart. And though I always miss the after-sex cuddling, this summer I gladly opted for the luxury of a stronger router during the couple of weeks I was away from Xander.