Female sexual energy | Why both sexes need it
Why both men and women need more female sexual energy
Xander and I are avid Pilates fans; me since my pregnancies, Xander since he turned forty. We also like Yoga, climbing, running, swimming and diving. We enjoy different kinds of sports, but we are not real specialists in anything. It’s the regular exercise and the constant challenge to our bodies that we are after, without feeling the need to excel in anything. In sport terms, we are cherry-pickers.
Our attitude to sex is very similar: nothing is strictly speaking necessary, as long as we have the freedom to explore everything. While we discuss our fantasies in detail, there are many things we don’t agree upon or that don’t interest either of us. It’s fine: we don’t need to do it all. Together we have devised our own code of conduct to suit our needs and wishes. What matters is not for us both to have every wish and fantasy fulfilled. What matters is that we don’t stagnate, that we don’t stay put.
– Xander, baby, are we going climbing on Friday or to Pilates on Tuesday this week?
– As you prefer baby. As long as you put on your tight black top, I am game.
To us, women, the factor of sexual evolution is even more crucial. Male energy is powerful and restless; it tends to dominate. If you ask me, female sexual energy should not even try to imitate it; it would be an artificial effort and doomed to fail. I adore masculine energy, I find it absolutely essential in the sexual mix, but I don’t intend to compete with it. It would be fake.
That doesn’t mean, however, that women don’t have their own distinct female sexual energy. We are intrinsically sexual beings, we dream, we fantasise, we evolve, we want more and we should have it. Or at least ask for it. If we leave it all to masculine energy, how can we expect to shape a sexual space that lives up to female needs too? If we don’t go ahead and take initiative, how can we expect to ever be fulfilled? And is it fair to blame men when they don’t offer us what we need, if we don’t even know what we need?
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that essentially men and women long for different sexual realities. I do believe though that weight and counter-weight always produce better end-results than one single force driving things on its own.
So, ladies, let’s be a more active part in our sexual relationships! This doesn’t necessarily include strap-ons, prostate vibrators and dildos -although I warmly recommend all of the above and I bet you’ll be surprised by the effect on your partner once he gets over his initial hesitation. Next time your man shares his fantasies with you, don’t feel uncomfortable, don’t switch off and more importantly don’t spare him! If his fantasy doesn’t suit you, feel free to playfully adapt it and don’t hesitate to put yours on the table.
– A threesome, baby? Awesome… I’ve always fantasised of having two men for myself…