No Sex. Period.
As I write this I am sitting on the terrace of a small brasserie overlooking the quaint square of a French seaside town. My view comes complete with an antediluvian bell tower leaning against an ancient church, cobblestones and the tantalizing smell of freshly baked baguettes. And naturally the one thing that’s on my mind is the female period.
It is that time of the month for Aliki. We were planning to go and try out a new swingers club in the area tonight. It is a hobby of ours to check out the swinging scene wherever we go. How will this work now?
Men and Period
Let me come clean from the very beginning. I am not an expert on the female menstrual cycle. No man really is. We’re just wussies. The only cycles that matter to us are two: the one that alternates between slumber and wakefulness and the one that causes the empty stomach to rumble and compels its filling up. When you are in a relationship, however, one that involves sex –and ideally plenty of it- even as a man you have to face those red-lettered days of the month.
Sex and Period
In real life I am a rather squeamish person, whose stomach is easily upset by unsavoury body odours, any green liquid of the right viscosity and, inexplicably, drooling pugs. Yet, I don’t mind having sex with Aliki when she has her period. On the contrary, I find it even sexy. Make no mistake, this is a privilege especially reserved for my partner. But it is no effort whatsoever. And when I say ‘sex’ I am referring to the full catalogue of sweet things that a loving (and horny) man can do to his partner’s genitalia. Aliki, naturally, is a bit reserved at times and I totally respect her need for privacy when she has it. But truly, my only worry is not to stain our Deschamp sheets –a predicament easily avoided by changing sex venue or using a towel.
Women and Period
Now, some of you might find this post crass or disgusting. I respect that. I am not implying that every good partner should not mind having his face covered in menstrual blood. I imagine that there are women who themselves feel physically and emotionally uncomfortable having too much sex during their menstruation. I guess my message here is twofold: that it should be the woman who decides and that as a man, provided that you don’t mind, it is nice to help her shed any social inhibitions that she might have acquired during her upbringing by showing her that you are at ease with her body. She is desirable even when she is bleeding!
Period, in many parts of the word –even in the West– is still often a subject of shame. This may be subtle. Thankfully, in most Western countries we have long shed the attitude that woman are to be shunned or considered “unclean” while they are bleeding – which unfortunately is still the case in many other areas of the globe. But I believe that, even in our backyard, this topic still is, ironically, a male-dominated area about which society doesn’t talk much openly.
So I guess what I am saying here, is that period is another day in the sexual adventure of a couple. Each one lives it as it wants. But it is good to think about it.
And just in case you are wondering, Aliki and I are going to the club tonight. She will tell you how that worked out in a separate post.
It’s now time for my croissant!