What to wear at a swingers club? | A guide for women

What do women wear for swinging Couple of Secrets

What to wear at a swingers club? | A guide for women

Breaking your head over what to wear for your first time at a swingers club? Here is our guide for women.

Readers often ask about what to wear at a swingers club. I understand the nervousness. Especially for the ladies -with all respect to men and their feelings. If Xander is anything to go by, a man’s hardest choice is whether to put on the black satin-feel boxers or the stretchy ones with the silver dots. Unless of course, you are a fan of white slips, in which case you shouldn’t be allowed into the club. Just kidding, don’t worry, swingers are fashion-tolerant people. But seriously, no white slips.

For us women though, it’s a different story. We have a mind-blowing variety of clothes, underwear and accessories to choose from. Mini dresses, tight skirts, skimpy tops, lace, leather, silk, velvet, fishnet, corsets, bras, bralettes, nipple pasties, briefs, shorties, thongs, bodysuits, hosiery… and don’t even get me started on accessories! A man would throw a fit with one-tenth of the choice!

How should a woman choose what to wear at a swingers club?

So, ladies, when choosing what to wear at a swingers club there are a few simple guidelines to follow. I am talking from personal experience and judging by the mistakes I have done in the past. You see, swinging etiquette is not exactly something you discuss openly with colleagues and family and none of my close friends is in the Lifestyle. So, in this sense, I had nobody to turn to for advice when I was starting. Hence this post. Ready? 

What do women wear at swingers clubs Couple of Secrets
Choose your main outfit: sexy but not over the top

Most clubs offer changing rooms and lockers. This allows you to put on your kinky attire later in the night when the atmosphere has warmed up. There is no need to leave your place or hotel room looking too conspicuous, making people wonder where you are heading to (a swingers club maybe?). 

You never know whom you might bump into on your way out -your mother in law, your son’s kindergarten teacher, your nosy neighbour- and you might prefer to blend in with the vanilla crowd if you are going for dinner and a drink before the Club.

That said, you don’t want to look too casual either. After all, it is a special night out for you and your partner! And first impressions matter, so don’t arrive at the swingers club underdressed. Pick something exciting but chic. Something that you feel sexy in. You’ll just need to make sure it covers (most of) your boobs and garter belt. There will be plenty of opportunities to expose those later!

What do women wear at swingers clubs Couple of Secrets

My favourite party shoes

Choosing your lingerie: provocative but authentic

This is a tough one. I see you spreading all your fancy underwear on the bed trying to decide which set to wear for your first time at a swingers’ club. You have my sympathies, I’ve been there plenty of times. And while I can’t tell you what looks good on you, I can give you some tips:

Wear something that is you

Don’t go for anything too flamboyant for your first time at a swingers club. It might make you more nervous and out of character. So choose a set in which you still feel yourself. I’ve seen beautiful women struggling with underwear they had clearly bought for the occasion but didn’t feel comfortable in.

Wear something simple

As much as you might like your harness underwear (I sure do), fiddling with fine straps and closing delicate hooklets isn’t the sort of thing you want to be doing while you’re changing in a club.  Your partner is waiting -more or less- patiently, other men are looking…. and you’re thinking, why do swingers clubs have mixed changing rooms? Infuriating, I know… how is a girl supposed to put on makeup and stockings with guys passing by and bumping into her?

Keep your choices open

Don’t sweat if you cannot make up your mind in advance. You can always pick a couple of your favourite sets to have in your bag for the evening. After all, underwear doesn’t take up much space and this way you can choose according to the atmosphere at the club and the mood of the evening.

Wear something your partner likes too

If you are going to the club with your partner, keep in mind what he turns him on too. I know, for instance, that Xander finds that my favourite black lace deux pieces flattens my boobs. I try to avoid it when we are out at swingers’ clubs. It’s a shame that other men don’t get to admire my investment at Agent Provocateur but, hey, anything to keep my man happy! 

What do women wear at swingers clubs Couple of Secrets
Choosing your shoes: classy but comfortable

Shoes are admittedly more straightforward. All you need is something sexy but still comfortable. Keep in mind you might find yourself standing for hours, dancing, stripping and all that.

I usually go for my Freelance 9 cm black pumps; it’s a decent heel height that still works well for me. And I usually keep them on during playtime as well. This is a very personal choice, obviously. 

One last note regarding footwear: some clubs have wet areas, jacuzzi’s, showers, hammams and what not. Think communal swimming pool, so you might want to take a pair of flip flops with you. As long as you avoid wearing your Minnie Mouse flip flops at the bar area, you should be fine. 

Choosing your makeup: bold but simple

I always relish the opportunity to indulge in the extravagant sort of makeup a swingers club allows for. Think club makeup: intense eyes, bright lips, features more pronounced than what you’d put on for a bar. I usually take a small pouch with my MAC kohl and lipstick with me and refresh my make up after dinner or while preparing at the club.

What do women wear at swingers clubs Couple of Secrets
To lipstick or not to lipstick

I find striking lipstick extremely sexy in the context of a sex party. Lipstick sure poses a problem: you cannot expect any sort -no matter what it promises you- to withstand hours of smooching. It’s also likely that it rubs off on everything else -including the rest of your face. But it’s a risk I am willing to take. A night out without lipstick is like sex without foreplay!  I just throw a pack of wipes in my bag to be sure.

Choosing your accessories: tantalising but stylish 

As always, accessories are an excellent way to upgrade a simple look and, boy does the swinging environment offer sexy choices! By accessories, I mean anything from regular jewellery and everyday bijoux to body chains, gloves, pasties, harnesses, nipple rings, collars, chokers, masks, gags, headbands, clamps etc. The sky is the limit.

A general rule is to avoid expensive jewellery or your favourite pieces or things that fall off easily. You might end up losing it on a critical moment among steaming bodies or in between mattresses. I am still crying over this silver hoop I’ve lost some years ago in Germany during a hot encounter with an Austrian couple. Plus I’ve developed the annoying habit of intermittently touching my ears to check when I have sex in Clubs. Kidding again. I just don’t wear earrings anymore. I go for nipple rings instead.

Photo credit: Unsplash, Pexels, Pixabay


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